What we think about, we bring about!

A positive mindset is so important when it comes to bringing about change in our lives. No matter how successful we may appear to others around us, we all have things about ourselves that we don’t like but it’s about accepting ourselves and loving ourselves for just the way we are as a starting point and then working on the things you really want to change.


Here’s the thing, it’s the work we do on those elements of ourselves that will bring about the most change! IE: Taking the negative thoughts and feelings and reframing to more empowering, positive thoughts. Especially when it comes to feelings of imposter syndrome creeping in (check out the last few blogs for more info on imposter syndrome). 


Happiness is contagious, there’s a definite ripple effect – the happier you are the happier those around you are! When I think about my own journey, I travelled a lot in my early 20’s (working on cruise ships) and saw some spectacular places – I even went to Alaska! I’ve worked hard and rose through the ranks of HR, I’ve trained in lots of different behavioural tools, therapies, I’ve done lots of different things and even opened my own business. 


On the face of it I had everything! 


I say on the face of it, as inside I knew I wanted more. I watched as my friends all started to get married and have families, and that wasn’t happening for me, I went on a completely different path and while I wanted those things – I also wanted to travel and be totally independent! It’s almost two conflicting stories/desires going on within me at the same time!


However, watching everyone settle down around me (even my bestie who was also career minded and very independent!), did make me start to wonder if I was missing out (particularly when I hit my 30’s). It’s also those old society rules that get drummed into you as a kid; you go to school, college or uni, get a job, get married, have kids… I’ve always been a bit of a rebel and don’t particularly like to do the ‘norm’ but by my 30’s, even I started to wonder whether I should be ‘settling down!’


This was one of the catalysts for me starting my journey into inner work and when I really introduced meditation into my routine. I also embarked on a journey of more self-discovery, learning therapies like EFT, becoming a reiki master, doing courses in psychology and CBT. I also completed my NLP training and really started to work on me, on being THE best version of me I could be. To be happy and grateful and to lose various fears I had (mainly of ending up a lonely old maid! )


It was then, after doing a lot of work on myself, I attracted my partner into my life. 


You see, when you’re happier (and for me, more content) on the inside, you can be happier on the outside and start to attract things into your life much more easily and receive those things in easier too!


It may sound cheesy but it’s true. You must be happy with yourself first and then the outer world will start to slowly reflect that. Ever heard the saying ‘no one else can love you until you love yourself?’ It’s why often I get clients who push people away, who start arguments with their partner – it’s all a reflection of our inner selves and our inner fears. I know – I was in that place for a long time, trust me!


Finding ways to look after yourself better is a great starting point! If you’re not ready to do deep inner work, even just things like taking time for you, booking a facial or a massage or treating yourself in some way, can be a stepping stone to showing yourself more love, care and attention.


I’m sure like me, you’re more than aware of your perceived flaws and you focus on these, rather than all the wonderful things about yourself! Am I right?! 


Every time you catch yourself saying something negative about yourself, stop, think ‘delete’ and then say something nice about yourself! We need to start stacking the positives rather than the negatives.


Another exercise you can do is actually ask your family/friends etc for a list of qualities they really love about you, why they like you etc – this will help start the ball rolling in stacking those positive stories


What else can you do to strengthen your relationship with yourself?