Understanding Imposter Syndrome

Imposter Syndrome is something all of us will experience at some point in our lives, in one way or another. It’s most common to feel this in periods of growth and development, where things are new and/or a bit more uncertain.

I’m actually not a huge fan of the label ‘imposter syndrome’ because I’ve seen people hide behind it – “oh yes, I’ve got imposter syndrome so I can’t do ….” It’s a way out of trying, moving forward, progressing for some… so watch out for that!

Feelings of being out of your depth are perfectly normal during growth, especially if you’re a perfectionist like me! There have been many times I’ve not felt adequate enough to receive awards, exam results, praise, as I’ve felt I could have done better or maybe haven’t felt I warranted the results or praise. One of my biggest hurdles for a long time was being totally unable to accept praise or give myself credit when I’d done something really good (I’d tend to just shrug it off). It took a long time to get over that particular hurdle and it still creeps back sometimes now! This is all part of the journey of personal development and it’s how you manage these thoughts and feelings, that really matters.

So, what causes these feelings to arise? 

Well, there can be a number of reasons these thoughts and feelings can creep in, some might include things like; undue pressure to achieve (from within or from external people), focussing on others journey’s and not your own (we never know what others have been through to get where they are and with social media the way it is, we all think others are doing bigger and better than we are, and it’s not always the case!). 

But one of the most common times to feel like a fraud if you like, is when starting in a new role or doing anything new. When we push out of our comfort zones, it can cause us to question our abilities – what if we get caught out? What if we can’t actually do this or we’re not good enough to do this? Arghhhh! 

Now don’t get me wrong, for some, the type of thoughts above can be a huge motivator to work harder and better and be worthy of praise, promotion, or accolade. For many though, it can be a huge cause of anxiety. I coach many professionals, at all levels, many of whom have suffered with imposter syndrome at some point during their career and like I say, this can be absolutely healthy and used as a motivator to achieve more and almost prove you can do it, to yourself! It doesn’t have to be a crippling thing that stops you moving forward!

For others, we might start by working on mindset and learning to slow down and being mindful of negative thoughts and/or the stories we’re telling ourselves. I don’t know about you, but I can be extremely harsh on myself with my thoughts, saying things to myself that I wouldn’t dream of saying to my team, friends, or family. By stopping and listening to your own thoughts, you can then start to recognise your patterns and start to flip them. One exercise I do with clients is to get them to write down the negative thoughts and then to come up with the positive flip. We do this a lot in the NLP world!

By focusing on the positive, or a reframe of the old thought, you can then build steps to accept who you are, your performance and your successes, and believe me it’s a happier and healthier place to be. It takes a bit of practice and it’s an ongoing thing, but it does really work!