Am I enough?

It struck me recently that Imposter Syndrome is a bit of a buzz phrase in the coaching arena. I certainly hadn’t heard of the phrase up until a couple years ago and as I mentioned in my last blog, I’m not actually a huge fan of the label. I’ve seen too many people hide behind the label as an excuse not to do something or push themselves. It’s not actually helpful sometimes.

For those who haven’t perhaps come across it, the definition of Imposter Syndrome is: “the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills”.

Most commonly, it is related to the ‘nervousness’ or ‘self-doubt’ of doing something, particularly when doing something new. Those “Can I do this?”, “Do I have the skills and knowledge to do this?” or “Who am I to do this?” type thoughts that crop up in our minds.

Am I enough?

Imposter Syndrome boils down to the self-doubt feelings of “am I good enough?” – a question we all face in our lives at various points!

It isn’t a bad thing. (Note the bold, underlined!!!) It’s completely normal to feel nerves when starting something new. That shows you’re growing, trying a new skill and these are all perfectly normal feelings! It also often shows you care and want to do well or do a good job or be good at whatever it is. I talk about this to my clients – we have growing pains as we grow up, literally as our bones grow as kids we can get growing pains and this is the same sort of thing. Growing isn’t always comfortable but it’s necessary – this is just the same.

Let me give you an example. I’m a pretty private person and so putting myself out there online was a scary step, yes, I felt nervous about it, I still do. But I’m doing it, maybe not as often as I should, but I’m building it up slowly. I know it’s necessary for my own personal growth and the growth of the business. I’m not allowing those negative feelings to hold me back because I know I can really help people and to be honest, that end goal of helping other people overcome and achieve, is greater than the pain of me being in front of the camera – sometimes it’s the end goal that helps us to push through the pain! (That’s often the breakthrough point for clients – making sure the end goal is so seductive and desirable that they’re willing to go through the pain to get there!).

That’s the key to tackling imposter syndrome – being nervous is ok and perfectly normal, it’s when you let those feelings dictate your next behaviours or even worse, let those feelings stop you from taking action – that’s when imposter syndrome is a problem!

Remember one key thing – our emotions and initial feelings are natural but after that, it’s our choice! It’s our choice if we let feelings/self-doubt dictate our actions, that might not be too comfortable to read at first but have a real think about it – I promise it’s true!

If you get into THAT space of letting your feelings stop you from taking positive action, this is when you can learn various tools and techniques to overcome and push past these feelings.

Imposter Syndrome doesn’t have to be viewed negatively!

Let me say that one more time – Imposter Syndrome does not have to be a bad thing! In fact, it’s ALL about how you use it. How you manipulate those feelings of nervousness or self-doubt and use them to propel yourself forward. How you celebrate those feelings when they come up because they are just a sign that you’re growing and up levelling your life! 

Let’s try and reframe these negative feelings to something more positive and productive!

By still doing the actions in spite of these feelings, that’s where your success lies!

When you’re hiding behind the feelings and it’s stopping you, you should then challenge yourself and use tools & techniques to overcome it.

It takes practice, resilience, and for you to REALLY challenge yourself to do the action. And don’t forget to give yourself credit when you do, who doesn’t like a big well done! We praise other people when they take a step forward, no matter how small, so don’t forget to do the same for yourself!

Imposter Syndrome and recognising and challenging self-limiting beliefs are just one area I support clients with coaching. Find out how we can work together to achieve your success – drop me a message or book in for a discovery call.